Escape from the City may seem like a benign lifestyle show, but no other program is more frustrating in its ability to create tension while failing to provide release. There’s rarely an episode where I haven’t felt compelled to throw something at the screen by the end. But yet – I keep coming back for more.
There are 60 episodes of this ABC property program (some are available on iView), all shot and produced between 2017 and 2020 in a variety of regional towns across Australia. Each episode follows an urban family or individual wanting to make a sea or tree change to “escape from the city”. The episodes follow a strict formula (borrowed from the UK’s Escape to the Country), where one of the show’s five presenters introduces the guests to four houses (including one mystery house, designed to surprise). The suspense builds for an hour – until the end of the episode when the buyer then decides which house they want.
It’s all very watchable (particularly when your own area is featured). The only problem is that barely any of the buyers actually buy the houses on offer, thus robbing the viewer of the sense of a satisfying ending. It’s like watching a whole season of The Bachelorette, where the star meets a bunch of interesting and attractive candidates, and of course you, as a viewer, have your favourites, and you are watching closely to see how the Bachelorette reacts to each of them – then suddenly the show ends with a flash of text that reads, “The Bachelorette has decided to return to Melbourne and be single for a while longer until she meets someone more suitable.” Come to think of it, that’s what happened in the sixth season of The Bachelor, where Nick Cummins AKA Honey Badger left without picking anyone, and there was a national uproar.
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That’s what it was like every week watching Escape from the City. And I don’t understand it. Each week, at least two of the four houses are usually great. The buyers have ample time to inspect the properties and get private tours with an attentive host.
I think of my own house. It was only the second home I had inspected, in a town I had been in for 15 minutes of my entire life, and I had to be quick about putting an offer in because someone else was interested. (So they said.) I’ve spent more time deciding what shoes to buy. My childhood home was purchased in a similar fashion: my dad and I did a quick walkthrough on auction day with heaps of other people, he started bidding and looked extremely shocked when he succeeded. Or the countless buyers who didn’t even see the houses they were purchasing during the pandemic. They do a virtual tour and like the rest of us, hope for the best.
And then you see these absolute luvvies on EFTC who have all the time in the world, four houses to choose from, and private tours, who still umm and ah and say they need more time. As we now know, time is money when it comes to Australia’s hot property market; the failure to jump on something immediately means that next week or next month, that house suddenly becomes unaffordable or unavailable.
The hosts’ seeming inability to close the deal means that none of them – Jane Hall, Simon Marnie, Bryce Holdaway, Del Irani and Dean Ipaviz – would last a month in a commercial real estate agency. But it’s not their fault, and they come across as personable, warm and hardworking, and they genuinely seem to care about the buyers.
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My frustration with the guests is even more acute now, rewatching episodes on iView, knowing that property prices in the regions have gone so crazy since it first aired. The couple who moved back to Brunswick and were going to drag out their search missed out on a stunning house in Terrigal with its own rainforest. The freshly renovated three-bedroom house was priced at $780,000 and only minutes from Terrigal beach. That was less than four years ago – it would be worth $1m-plus now.
Ditto a couple who passed on a gorgeous, $1.6m place in central Berry, which had an incredible garden, a pool, and four bedrooms – that would now be worth at least $3m.
Both of these couples ended their episodes not buying any of the properties, all of which would have doubled in value during the pandemic. Perhaps the frustration with Escape from the City is not so much the lack of a satisfying ending, but watching the 2018 property market with 2022 eyes. If only we could go back in time.
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Escape from the City is available to stream on iView now
